A Very Good Day

I am so humbled this morning to find that God has come to me! Who am I that He would reach out across the great divide to allow me this indescribable blessing of feeling His presence and love for me.

I have been in a place of grief and sadness and have found that even this dark journey has such beauty that just can't be explained.

I am but a single soul in a vast ocean of souls and yet there is no denying that He loves ME!

How is this so?! How does He even notice me. I am but an ant in a gigantic universe of ants.

I am so grateful for the whole experience and the fact that He has allowed me a time on this earth to live and be. Oh how I wish that I would have been alive with this knowledge from the very beginning of my days.

Life is such a gift even at its most horrible worst.

We are all precious.

Here is a video that touched my heart in a very profound way...from the music to the images to the soul-spoken words.

Please take a moment of your time to listen and I hope and pray that God shows Himself to you as He did me.

https://youtu.be/tGWyWYxrcIg?list=PLqufAn2h_RsiXTh6G80XpJz1JgNfHM4kT

© Cassandra McElyea – Author of A Very Good Day 2016
All Rights Reserved
P.O. Box 401 Van Alstyne, TX 75495

Don't Give Up! (December 8, 2015)

Can I just share something with you guys for one minute?

This past year has been pretty tough...lately I have been feeling like God had forsaken/forgotten about me. (I know so many of you feel the same way)

Lot's of little things and some big things have led to this way of thinking and feeling in spite of my efforts to hold onto my faith.

 I believe part of my inability to stand stronger during my hard times is because of the loss of my mama and a crumbling marriage after man...y years of investing much. 

 Lately, I have had to rely on others to supply my needs (never comfortable) and me having a huge sweet tooth and a love for Dr. Peppers, well in my selfish little girl way, I would just about lose my salvation over not having those two things (ha ha) 

 Some days I post on my facebook much like I do a diary and simply mark it "Only Me" and today was one of those days where I just released all of my problems and worries onto the Lord and boldly stated that I was done trying to fight to control what was going on in my life. I claimed all of God's promises for myself as one of His children. 

 Then I scrolled through some of my friends posts and prayed for those requesting such and sympathized with some of my other friends who were posting about a loss of a mutual friend, Dimebag Darryl back in 2004, listened to some music, etc.

 Out of the blue there was the doorbell...one of my neighbors had walked over to give me this plate of cookies that she had handmade. As I thanked her, we talked for a bit and I mentioned how I wasn't sure how much longer we would be neighbors due to my finances.

Not only did God provide me with my sweet tooth fix but he also gave me a different perspective on the loss of my home...she said that her husbands parents were getting along in years and they had been trying to find a home nearby that would make things easier on everybody when the time comes that they're not as able to care for themselves and said that my home would be perfect.

 All this to say that if God showed me that He hadn't forgotten about me even to the point of a plate of cookies AND He gave me the ability to more easily let go of something (my home) if need be for Him to be able to bless someone else, who am I to question when and who He decides to give to or take away from.

 I'm ashamed of myself and super humbled to say the least, but very thankful that He took the time to give me these revelations and if He did it for me He can and will do it for you too!!

 Don't give up!

© Cassandra McElyea – Author Don't Give Up! 2015
All Rights Reserved
P.O. Box 401 Van Alstyne, TX 75495

Purposeful Pauses

Genesis 26 : 17 - 22
17 So Isaac left that place and camped near the little river of Gerar. He stayed there and lived.
18 Long before this time, Abraham had dug many wells. After he died, the Philistines filled the wells with sand. So Isaac went back and dug those wells again. He gave them the same names his father had given them.
19 Isaac’s servants also dug a well near the little river and found fresh water.[living water]
20 But the men who herded sheep in the Valley of Gerar argued with Isaac’s servants. They said, “This water is ours.” So Isaac named that well Esek.[argument/fight] He gave it that name because it was the place where they had argued with him.
21 Then Isaac’s servants dug another well. But there was an argument over this well too. So Isaac named that well Sitnah.[hatred/enemy]
22 Isaac moved from there and dug another well. No one came to argue about this well. So Isaac named it Rehoboth(Open Place) He said, “Now the Lord has found a place for us. We will grow and be successful in this place.”

***Have you ever felt like you were digging well after well after well and someone else was getting the water without having to put in the work or with no real claim in it?

     I think we all have at one time or another.

     These scriptures don't tell us if Isaac spoke out of frustration to this friend or that family member about how unfair the whole thing was or if he talked about filling the wells back up so they would have to dig their own wells and not benefit from his servants efforts.

It only tells us that Isaac re-named the wells with fitting labels as if the very naming of it helped him to find closure and then he simply moved on.

     I can only imagine that after digging all those wells that his father Abraham had dug to begin with was frustrating enough, but then to have his servants venture out, find suitable places and dig two more wells and after all that time and work to be taken over by people of the area would just about wear anybody out.

     Still, he didn't throw his hands up in the air or pig-headedly refuse to move on. He didn't tell God how much time and energy he had put into the project and complain or rationalize as to why his servants shouldn't have to move on, look elsewhere and dig another well.

     Isaac re-named those failed attempts appropriately, moved on from there and looked for another place to have his servants dig the well.

      This last time he took a period of time to WAIT to see if anyone was going to come and argue or stake claim. And when no one showed up at this third site, THEN he named and claimed the well.

      Isaac also gave God the credit in finding an open place and named the well accordingly. And then confidently stated that they would grow and be successful.

      He didn't hesitate. He stepped out in faith and trust each time and learned from each frustratingly failed attempt.
I think sometimes if we will just pause for a minute instead of plunging headlong into our projects and plans, that we could avoid some of our own frustrations.

     Our purposeful pauses while at the same time seeking out the Lord's will can give us optimal results and we too can grow and be successful.  


© Cassandra McElyea – Author of Purposeful Pauses 2016
All Rights Reserved
P.O. Box 401 Van Alstyne, TX 75495
                                                                         

I kinda like Me

I'm at the age where I'm supposed to feel a certain way about the carefree craziness of my younger days, but the older I get and the more I think back over it all, I come to realize that those days are a lot of what made me who I am. Who's to say that's a bad thing?

 I was raised in church and went from daddy to husband and soon after that my daughter arrived. I spent 13 years in my 1st marriage and 11 in my second one. Again, something that isn't looked on as ideal and again, both of those marriages were worth every bit of my time for one reason or another.

 I have never been one to deny my past and never will be. I have done a lot of things wrong and I do mean a lot, and I, of course, would changes some things if I could but not in such a drastic way as to bypass some of the sweetest, most memorable moments of my life or to change who I have ended up being.

 If I were to die today, I would feel like I really and truly lived, something that a lot of people can't claim. I experienced so many things, both horrible and wonderful and felt each and every experience to the fullest.

I love the days when I was a little girl going to church and got a glare from my mama when I squirmed too much in the pew.
I love the days when I was a young girl, learning to play the piano by ear (for the most part).
I love the days when I was growing up with all kinds of animals for pets that you would've thought we had our own small zoo...chickens, goats, cows, horses, dogs, cats, squirrels and even a raccoon.
I love the days when I was an awkward teenager and felt like a misfit and got my heart broken over this guy or that.
I love the days when I was a young wife and mother dreaming of and striving for my own little version of happily ever after.
I love the days when I would thrash around at some wild rock concert with a clan of people that loved those lyrics and tunes exactly like I did.
I love the days when I was thick in the middle of my addiction running from the feelings of failure of not achieving that happily ever after and not sure if I ever would, but all the while willing to keep on trying and looking.
I love the days when I felt so alone and only God was by my side.
I love the days when I was homeless and laid my head in a different spot every night.
I love the days when I worked all day and came home to a messy house almost too tired to care.
I love the days when I sat in prison and met people who lived and failed and learned just like I did.
I love the days when I worked too hard or gave too much for something I wanted.
I love the days when I let it all go and didn't care what people thought.
I love the days when reckless abandon seemed like bliss.
I love the days when it all seemed too much and I wanted to give up and throw in the towel and just not care anymore.
I love the days when I made up my mind to keep on keeping on no matter what it took.
I love the days when I talked to God and poured over my Bible.
I love the days when I sit for far too long watching the television set instead of doing something productive.
I love the days when I did my best to be productive regardless of the payoff.
I love the days when there was nobody to come home to but my dogs.

What I guess I'm trying to say is that I can't pick and choose the parts of my life to keep or throw away and after much soul searching and many days and nights and weeks and months and years of living, I have found that they are all precious.

 I am a people-pleasing peace keeper, but I am also a rebellious, hot-headed tantrum thrower. I am all the good and bad mixed into one that almighty God made me to be.

 We all have a life to live and we can't live it without many, many wrong turns, bumps and road blocks along the way. All we can do is strive to do our best, to not hurt anyone, to do good and trust that God will handle the rest.

 Might as well embrace it all and let God sort it out.

 Life is short and to regret or deny parts of it is almost just as bad as not living at all.

 Sure, maybe I don't fit neatly into some mold of normalcy but I sure do love when I love and I'm loyal as they come and you know what?! ----

I kinda like me, thank you very much!


© Cassandra McElyea – Author of I Kinda Like Me 2016
All Rights Reserved
P.O. Box 401 Van Alstyne, TX 75495

Empathy and compassion can come from imagining...1/5/16

Sometimes we have to look at others from their perspective. If we take the time to step into their shoes for just a few brief moments, we can sometimes see so much differently and act accordingly.

Below is my way of doing that for someone I love very much...


Imagine a baby boy full of wonder and excitement and tender innocence growing up in the small town of Van Alstyne, shooting his bb gun, riding his bicycle and just exploring the woods and fishing holes and being all the little boy that he could be in a world where good still seemed prevalent.

Imagine that boy becoming a young man but never quite fitting in because maybe he's a little bit unsure of his place in the world and maybe his shoes and clothes and hair styles aren't quite as new or great or up to date as the popular kids.

Imagine that boy growing up a loner at first and then later making friends that were older than him and more worldly than him and slipping into a scene of booze and drugs to seem older and cooler and to fit in.

Imagine that young man getting married with a baby on the way at a very young age, not quite ready to grow all the way up yet, even though his circumstances are requiring it and even though he has the best of intentions he just can't seem to do what it takes and it doesn't work out.

Imagine diving into that drug scene even more to escape all kinds of feelings of hurt, anger, inadequacy, injustice, failure, loneliness and anger to the point of finding yourself in jail for the first time, realizing that bad things DO happen to people like him after all.

Imagine wanting to have a life and a family and make the ones that love you proud so they'll believe in you again but also wanting to not feel and not care and just forget about all of that because you'll probably just fail again anyway and end up getting hurt again like last time.

Imagine finally finding someone again that inspires you to finally risk it again and you make up your mind to get your life together and give it your all...get a job, pay bills, raise a kid, face all of life's challenges with that special someone...but, it happens again.

Imagine that no matter how badly you want those things, you just don't have the cards stacked in your favor enough for society to allow you to make a decent living in spite of your criminal record and you have child support coming out of what little you can make from your first family that you just couldn't make it.

Imagine that you know of a way you can make enough money to pay for all of the things your family needs and even maybe enough to pay for some of the things that they want and you just know that if you can provide for them properly this time it'll work----but it's illegal.

Imagine that while making that money you go head first and neck deep into an addiction and lifestyle that calls the shots more than any other authority in your life ever could or did before and you can't shake free.

Imagine waking up to the sounds of 50+ belligerent male voices in a cold concrete cell with stained peeling walls and the smells of sweat, urine and even blood day after day after day.

Imagine having to look over your shoulder, never showing any sign of weakness, being stripped of all of your freedom and rights, having little to no privacy, being treated like a number, a reject of society.

Imagine that your oldest daughter is having your second grandchild and you find out that during the delivery that, of course, you can't be present at, it turns out to be your first grandSON, however, he's having to be taken via care-flight to another state due to a hole in his diaphragm and one of his lungs is underdeveloped and you can't be there for your daughter or your grandson.

Imagine finding out your youngest daughter being taken by the state while your locked up this time and there's nothing you can do about it. You already feel bad enough about everything else, but the thought of your little girl feeling like she's not wanted or loved or did something wrong and that's why daddy always leaves and goes to jail and maybe that's why they took her away from her mama...well, that is just about too much for anybody.

Imagine fighting as best you can to retain rights to your daughter and complete all of the classes and courses and requirements that the court demands but the system is completely clueless about the time sensitivity to all of this and that every day that goes by and your name isn't on that registration list and you haven't achieved that certificate, your daughter is living with strangers with very limited contact to anybody and everything that she knows and loves and feels familiar and comfortable around.

Imagine while in this fight of your life that you get the news that your mama-the woman who gave you life, who never gave up on you, who loves you unconditionally- has been diagnosed with lung cancer and has less than a year to live and your prison sentence is longer than that...

Imagine having to seem right as rain with the fact that your mama has hair one visit and doesn't the next-she's getting so frail that she eventually can't make the trip anymore and all you get is to hear her ever-weakening voice over the telephone.

Imagine seeing a uniformed male officer and every time thinking they're coming to get you to take you to a phone call to receive news that you never, ever want to hear --- and then finally, one of those times, imagine that it IS that time.

Imagine being told you aren't allowed to pay your final respects to this woman that loved you and believed in you when all others fell off or faded away...that you'll never get to hug or kiss her one more time, you'll never get to see her face or smell her smell or hear her voice and you can't even honor her with a final goodbye.

Imagine having no human contact during all of this-no one to hug you or console you or just really understand who you are and what your feeling-actually no support system whatsoever really. You sure don't want to show any kind of weakness...not where you're at.

Imagine if you knew you could turn to God and take comfort in the fact that He made you and knew your weaknesses and promised not to put more on you than you could bear, but you were still just a little bit mad at Him that your life had turned out like it had.

Imagine getting out of that place...
with all of that having happened...
with your options to succeed severely limited...

WHO WOULD YOU BE?

© Cassandra McElyea – Author of Empathy and Compassion can come from Imagining... 2016
All Rights Reserved
P.O. Box 401 Van Alstyne, TX 75495

A quick little poem of thanks to Bro. Donnie Neil on 1/7/16

Jesus must've loved cowboys, because God made you.
Cowboy boots, a big black hat and a big heart too.
Mornings spent in prayer with a bible in his lap,
spreading God's word, filling the gap.
Days spent visiting those who are ill,
wanting only to do the good Lord's will.
Never keeping track of all that he gives,
making a world of difference just by the way that he lives.
Just a simple man,
doing all that he can...
God made this cowboy with an extra loving hand.
 
© Cassandra McElyea – Author of A quick little poem of thanks to Bro. Donnie Neil on 1/7/16
All Rights Reserved
P.O. Box 401 Van Alstyne, TX 75495

A small little diddy written for Bro. Duane Peters on 1/7/16

God had a man cross my path that spends his days encouraging and lifting up others and he so touched my life that I felt like sending him a little thank you by way of a poem his life inspired...


God made a man who loved to sing,
to him was not to be found a better thing.
He spent each glorious morning near to the Lord,
reading and sharing His precious Word.
Walking and talking with the man upstairs,
a man on a mission to show the world the Lord sweetly cares.
A life well spent and a heart of gold,
this man is loved more than can be told.

© Cassandra McElyea – Author of A small little diddy written for Bro. Duane Peters on 1/7/16
All Rights Reserved
P.O. Box 401 Van Alstyne, TX 75495

God is with us when we grieve.

Grieving can be such a hard thing to go through.
Audra, a childhood friend of mine said it very well when she said, "Sometimes our grief and loss isn't a person. Sometimes it's a pet, a job, a home, a relationship or anything else that we were attached to. In our grief we learn that what really matters is God's love for us."

Below is something I wanted to share that I discovered while grieving the loss of my precious mama...

We cry out to God, when we lose someone we love...
The very God we ignore or deny in a million little ways every single day.
We may think that we keep Him near but in reality if we kept ourselves in the awareness of that nearness, we would know that there is no reason to doubt that He fully sees, feels and understands the intensity of our grief and sadness.
Tears come at the most uncomfortable times, leaking from our hearts and souls finding their way into our eyes washing our faces with a flood of our deepest emotions.
We wail to Him in the midst of the unfairness and pain,
not understanding, not even really wanting to understand,
just wanting and needing the sorrow of our hearts to lessen.
Our simple tears - desperately reaching out and intimately speaking to the very essence of who He is.
He is IN our tears...slipping out of our eyes, rolling down our faces, dripping onto our chests, soaking into our tissues.
He is IN our wail...rumbling up from our deepest place, flowing into our throat and shrieking out of our mouths, filling the air with a mournfulness to end up being absorbed into the normal sounds of the world around us.
He is IN our minds - that are futilely seeking to understand and make sense of our existence and make a way different than HIs, all the while quietly and knowingly protecting us with the very denial that we would use to punish or lash out.
He is IN our heart - that feels so broken that it'll never be whole again, blood powerfully coursing from this place to that, cells replicating and dying with quiet purpose.
He is IN our sorrowful solitude and silence - sitting lovingly by our side, sometimes holding our hand or gazing at our face letting us just "be" and allowing us to feel all that "being" entails, but never abandoning us to our well of emotions and our incomplete understanding.
I sometimes wonder if we can really get much closer to Him, than when we grieve....for grieving attests to great love that has been given and received and from our perception lost.
I sometimes think that that may be when He is as close as our breath, as close as our heartbeat and He, Himself remembers why He created us to begin with, for He IS love and created us from the very deepest of longings to love and be loved and share all the mysteries and revelations in a lovingly and creatively drawn out way for both our benefit and His.
The great love and utter loneliness He must've felt to fathom such a grand plan of creation and existence.
Love is what goes on and on and on and although we have no touchable type of knowing... we know.
We know He is in every tiny part of us, how could He not be?
We are made in His image and He took deliberate pains to ensure that we experienced all that He knows to be most precious and to reveal to us that He is here with us and He was willing to place a part of Himself as His Son into a human form so that we can be assured that He thought it all so worth it that even to endure the pains of His crucifixion was not too much.
He waits to welcome us back to Him in that glorious place of light and love and allows us a lifetime to become and experience all that was our assignment from before our earthly birth.
And when we cry and wail for the loss of those we loved, He knows that the very sorrow we feel is confirmation that the part of Himself that He deposited into the person that we loved and lost touched us and He is overjoyed that they've returned to Him completing their assignment in a beautiful way, making a difference, leaving their mark, sending out ripples of His love in a lasting way that carries on from them to us to those that will one day lose us...and so it shall be until all have completed their journeys and His mission has been completed and we are ultimately reunited.

© Cassandra McElyea – Author of God is With Us When We Grieve 2016
All Rights Reserved
P.O. Box 401 Van Alstyne, TX 75495

Feeling Thankful

Quiet stillness,
peace of mind and heart,
the smell of babies and the beach,
puppy dog kisses,
grandbabies hugs and laughter,...
my daughter's happiness,
daddy's arms hugging me,
mama's smile of approval,
the look of love in someone's eyes,
the comfort of home,
the companionship of a good friend,
the taste of my favorite foods,
the freedom to choose,
the sound of music,
the sun, the moon, the stars, the wind, butterflies, flowers and all things that are the beauty of nature,
the hope found in God who truly gets me and loves me anyway..
just some of the many things I am thankful for. smile emoticon

© Cassandra McElyea – Author of Feeling Thankful 2016
All Rights Reserved
P.O. Box 401 Van Alstyne, TX 75495

Leaning into God

God has been convicting me of my time and energy and how it should be spent. While my heart and motives are in the right place, it was not his will for me to sit and worry, nor was it his will for me to work or run around. I even applied to volunteer at some places just to fill my days and in hopes find a place for myself work-wise as well. But God obviously put a stop to that. So I asked for forgiveness and decided to stay home with no real agenda, and learned to sit still, pray, listen, watch, read and study. I believe this is what He wants for me and I'm going to obey until He shows me what He wants me to do next.
 
© Cassandra McElyea – Author of Leaning Into God 2016
All Rights Reserved
P.O. Box 401 Van Alstyne, TX 75495