Empathy and compassion can come from imagining...1/5/16

Sometimes we have to look at others from their perspective. If we take the time to step into their shoes for just a few brief moments, we can sometimes see so much differently and act accordingly.

Below is my way of doing that for someone I love very much...


Imagine a baby boy full of wonder and excitement and tender innocence growing up in the small town of Van Alstyne, shooting his bb gun, riding his bicycle and just exploring the woods and fishing holes and being all the little boy that he could be in a world where good still seemed prevalent.

Imagine that boy becoming a young man but never quite fitting in because maybe he's a little bit unsure of his place in the world and maybe his shoes and clothes and hair styles aren't quite as new or great or up to date as the popular kids.

Imagine that boy growing up a loner at first and then later making friends that were older than him and more worldly than him and slipping into a scene of booze and drugs to seem older and cooler and to fit in.

Imagine that young man getting married with a baby on the way at a very young age, not quite ready to grow all the way up yet, even though his circumstances are requiring it and even though he has the best of intentions he just can't seem to do what it takes and it doesn't work out.

Imagine diving into that drug scene even more to escape all kinds of feelings of hurt, anger, inadequacy, injustice, failure, loneliness and anger to the point of finding yourself in jail for the first time, realizing that bad things DO happen to people like him after all.

Imagine wanting to have a life and a family and make the ones that love you proud so they'll believe in you again but also wanting to not feel and not care and just forget about all of that because you'll probably just fail again anyway and end up getting hurt again like last time.

Imagine finally finding someone again that inspires you to finally risk it again and you make up your mind to get your life together and give it your all...get a job, pay bills, raise a kid, face all of life's challenges with that special someone...but, it happens again.

Imagine that no matter how badly you want those things, you just don't have the cards stacked in your favor enough for society to allow you to make a decent living in spite of your criminal record and you have child support coming out of what little you can make from your first family that you just couldn't make it.

Imagine that you know of a way you can make enough money to pay for all of the things your family needs and even maybe enough to pay for some of the things that they want and you just know that if you can provide for them properly this time it'll work----but it's illegal.

Imagine that while making that money you go head first and neck deep into an addiction and lifestyle that calls the shots more than any other authority in your life ever could or did before and you can't shake free.

Imagine waking up to the sounds of 50+ belligerent male voices in a cold concrete cell with stained peeling walls and the smells of sweat, urine and even blood day after day after day.

Imagine having to look over your shoulder, never showing any sign of weakness, being stripped of all of your freedom and rights, having little to no privacy, being treated like a number, a reject of society.

Imagine that your oldest daughter is having your second grandchild and you find out that during the delivery that, of course, you can't be present at, it turns out to be your first grandSON, however, he's having to be taken via care-flight to another state due to a hole in his diaphragm and one of his lungs is underdeveloped and you can't be there for your daughter or your grandson.

Imagine finding out your youngest daughter being taken by the state while your locked up this time and there's nothing you can do about it. You already feel bad enough about everything else, but the thought of your little girl feeling like she's not wanted or loved or did something wrong and that's why daddy always leaves and goes to jail and maybe that's why they took her away from her mama...well, that is just about too much for anybody.

Imagine fighting as best you can to retain rights to your daughter and complete all of the classes and courses and requirements that the court demands but the system is completely clueless about the time sensitivity to all of this and that every day that goes by and your name isn't on that registration list and you haven't achieved that certificate, your daughter is living with strangers with very limited contact to anybody and everything that she knows and loves and feels familiar and comfortable around.

Imagine while in this fight of your life that you get the news that your mama-the woman who gave you life, who never gave up on you, who loves you unconditionally- has been diagnosed with lung cancer and has less than a year to live and your prison sentence is longer than that...

Imagine having to seem right as rain with the fact that your mama has hair one visit and doesn't the next-she's getting so frail that she eventually can't make the trip anymore and all you get is to hear her ever-weakening voice over the telephone.

Imagine seeing a uniformed male officer and every time thinking they're coming to get you to take you to a phone call to receive news that you never, ever want to hear --- and then finally, one of those times, imagine that it IS that time.

Imagine being told you aren't allowed to pay your final respects to this woman that loved you and believed in you when all others fell off or faded away...that you'll never get to hug or kiss her one more time, you'll never get to see her face or smell her smell or hear her voice and you can't even honor her with a final goodbye.

Imagine having no human contact during all of this-no one to hug you or console you or just really understand who you are and what your feeling-actually no support system whatsoever really. You sure don't want to show any kind of weakness...not where you're at.

Imagine if you knew you could turn to God and take comfort in the fact that He made you and knew your weaknesses and promised not to put more on you than you could bear, but you were still just a little bit mad at Him that your life had turned out like it had.

Imagine getting out of that place...
with all of that having happened...
with your options to succeed severely limited...

WHO WOULD YOU BE?

© Cassandra McElyea – Author of Empathy and Compassion can come from Imagining... 2016
All Rights Reserved
P.O. Box 401 Van Alstyne, TX 75495